Saturday, November 25, 2006


this may make things better.

Friday, November 24, 2006

black friday

I feel kind of black myself. I went down to the mall to see the madness. To feel it and capture it. I found myself drawn to the children. I found myself drawn to the sadness of the whole thing. I must be pmsing, but this society of consumerism is bringing me down. I saw on tv today, this guy said that he has an 8 year old daughter at home and that he is going to buy her all the toys that she needs. I wonder how many she needs. I wonder how much we all need. I wonder if we should just start giving and stop shopping. what is this utopia that I crave? what can I do to relieve this guilt?

I haven't hiked in a few days. maybe that's what this depression is about. I feel kind of lonely. I also took a valium before going to thanksgiving last night. Yesterday I took a drive before we went over there and I found humanity to be quite mean. I am super sensitive. so I took a valium, but I think that it created I more depressed me today. People are good and I know this. I am good too. maybe that's the conflict?
I don't know. I don't know. My darling portal, I need help.

This land of plenty and I am full.

on a side note, when I was taking these pictures today, people seemed so put off. I was thinking about the fact that if these people were on stage, that they would love it. on the street, they hate it. some looked like they would beat me down. so I just started being more obvious about the whole thing. I need somewhere there with me to say "wow!" over and over again. wow you are pretty and wow you shop well.

listen to me go on like this. I hate it. I want to sound perkier. This is started to sound like my jr high journals. I was thinking as I was walking around santa monica, that unlike Erin, I wouldn't recognize anyone from high school. maybe from my youth drug abuse program, but I doubt that.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

happy thanksgiving from los angeles

have the holidays hit you yet? it's weird being out of work during this time. I am not around as many people, so it hasn't hit me in the same way. Traffic is definitely intense during this time. I do feel a little melancholy.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

tuesday in the park with a swan

we got up there at 8. it was about a 2 hour hike. she goes much faster than me, and with all my complaining, I still made it to the top. I spent the rest of the day so tired. which is where I am right now.

watching this thing about Altman. I dug him. Didn't you?

Back to my day. look at la. so pretty. we are going to take a nap.

Monday, November 20, 2006

one of my favorite photos that I took

good evening. how are you and how was your day? I like this photo because these people are so delicious. I love that coat and sweater.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

plaster beauties

These chicks are hot! what do you think about this display? I like the emotions. the sex appeal. I think that they got it right.

my russian boy toy


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